The following reactions do not reflect anything except scorn and disgust for the GOP Presidoucheful field.
"Hello, my name is Rick Santorum. Please don't google me."
Rick Perry is his own straw man.
Seriously, since when are three sock puppets, the Burger King, Barbie's friend Midge, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and a space lizard considered a presidential field? And why is that werewolf interviewing them?
I need beer, quickly. And probably food.
I think it's official: I'm going as Michele Bachmann for Halloween.
I think that lady was on my bus today.
The first thing they'd do as president? Probably spin around in the president's chair shouting "WHEEEEEEEE!" Except for Mitt Romney, he doesn't know how to be enthusiastic about things.
I need to make t-shirts: "I Survived Governor Romney. And the lead paint was delishhizzz..."
Let's use more inflammatory metaphors, shall we?
Mitt, you had about five seconds of personality with that poker thing. And then you kept fucking talking.
Ron Paul is not from Texas. He's from Neptune, much like his space lizard counterpart from the Democratic Party, Gleep-Glorp Kucinich (his real name).
None of you people are holding my attention. Not even to throw my shoes at the TV.
No, they're coming to Texas to put out the fire, slip into Mexico for prescription drugs, and buy hats.
How magnanimous of you, Newton.
I'm just saying, it sounded more like Cuntsman than Huntsman, Wolfie.
Darlin', Massachusetts isn't all smart people. There are some who voted for Romney.
Well aren't you witty, Santorum. Gold star for you. Let me just google you to see where to send - OH GOD, THAT'S WHAT SANTORUM IS?
Wolf, you are a whore. Stop giving the dumb shit they say credence.
Can you even spell "federal reserve"?
Same question to you, Cleti - I mean Rick.
Tyler, are you old enough to legally work?
Uh, Huntsman, are you trying to lose or trying to be nominated by the DNC?
I agree that GE needs to pay more taxes. Thanks, Newtly.
EEEEEE. The kitten's winter coat is coming in and it's SO CUTE.
Gardisil should not be mandated. But not because of any of the assinine reasons these twits are - oh, Christ, Michele, are you one of those people who think vaccines cause autism? Fucking moron. The problem with Gardisil is shady promotion by Merck and inadequate long-term studies. I'd say you're fear mongereing, Michele, but I really do think you believe Gardisil is going to make your head fall off.
Fucking fuck, get off the counter, Phoebe! Stop licking butter off that pot!
Gigglesnort. Texas actually sort of does have a way of making STDs communicable in schools - it's called abstinence-only.
The People's Tea Party sounds communist.
Hermie, that's not an answer.
I sure hope a fruit popsicle counts as a vegetable. Food pyramid fail.
That's twice you've mentioned the National Restaurant Association, Herm. I think you want people to confuse it with the NRA.
A healthcare savings account would be a fucking disaster, Mittenshit. The same amount for a healthy person as for, say, one of the 9/11 repsonders your party routinely fucks over? The same amount for a man as for a woman who gives birth four times? Solid plan, Mitt. Really. Solid as poop.
No, you ass, you didn't raise taxes, you just earned yourself the name "Fee-Fee" and slashed the education budget and teacher benefits. So now we're dumb, healthy, and have to pay five bucks to go through a toll.
It's not taking your own risk if you're from a bad school system that Mitt fucked over, had a baby because Rick Perry won't teach you safe sex, and can only get a job at Godfather Pizza that pays shit because you're busy raising your kid - it's called poverty.
I have to wonder how much her health insurance paid for that Botox. Bachmann - do you have a face under there?
Where you runnin' off to, Michele? To reread "Constitution for Idiots"? Or is it for more Botox?
Okay, so, it's a commercial, and I just give the fuck up. It's pissing me off too much, and I'm sure somewhere inside me, my cortisol levels are like, "YEAAAAAAH. ANGER. STRESS. LET'S GO WILD," and I'd love to not have hives again tonight. Or, at least, more hives (hi, yeah, I have chronic ideopathic hives that are most likely caused by stress and have no "cure" except not being stressed and taking fucktons of drugs. It's a fun time.) So I think I'm just going to shut this off before the itching begins and/or I throw something through the television. My Diet Crush and I are going to rock out to some Sims and a bit of writing, then maybe consider finishing my 9/11 blog entry, or possibly prep for the FSOT (foreign service officer test). I should probably check my work email, but that will give me hives, so no, thank you. Maybe a hot shower, instead.
Ack. Republicans.
"Hello, my name is Rick Santorum. Please don't google me."
Rick Perry is his own straw man.
Seriously, since when are three sock puppets, the Burger King, Barbie's friend Midge, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and a space lizard considered a presidential field? And why is that werewolf interviewing them?
I need beer, quickly. And probably food.
I think it's official: I'm going as Michele Bachmann for Halloween.
I think that lady was on my bus today.
The first thing they'd do as president? Probably spin around in the president's chair shouting "WHEEEEEEEE!" Except for Mitt Romney, he doesn't know how to be enthusiastic about things.
I need to make t-shirts: "I Survived Governor Romney. And the lead paint was delishhizzz..."
Let's use more inflammatory metaphors, shall we?
Mitt, you had about five seconds of personality with that poker thing. And then you kept fucking talking.
Ron Paul is not from Texas. He's from Neptune, much like his space lizard counterpart from the Democratic Party, Gleep-Glorp Kucinich (his real name).
None of you people are holding my attention. Not even to throw my shoes at the TV.
No, they're coming to Texas to put out the fire, slip into Mexico for prescription drugs, and buy hats.
How magnanimous of you, Newton.
I'm just saying, it sounded more like Cuntsman than Huntsman, Wolfie.
Darlin', Massachusetts isn't all smart people. There are some who voted for Romney.
Well aren't you witty, Santorum. Gold star for you. Let me just google you to see where to send - OH GOD, THAT'S WHAT SANTORUM IS?
Wolf, you are a whore. Stop giving the dumb shit they say credence.
Can you even spell "federal reserve"?
Same question to you, Cleti - I mean Rick.
Tyler, are you old enough to legally work?
Uh, Huntsman, are you trying to lose or trying to be nominated by the DNC?
I agree that GE needs to pay more taxes. Thanks, Newtly.
EEEEEE. The kitten's winter coat is coming in and it's SO CUTE.
Gardisil should not be mandated. But not because of any of the assinine reasons these twits are - oh, Christ, Michele, are you one of those people who think vaccines cause autism? Fucking moron. The problem with Gardisil is shady promotion by Merck and inadequate long-term studies. I'd say you're fear mongereing, Michele, but I really do think you believe Gardisil is going to make your head fall off.
Fucking fuck, get off the counter, Phoebe! Stop licking butter off that pot!
Gigglesnort. Texas actually sort of does have a way of making STDs communicable in schools - it's called abstinence-only.
The People's Tea Party sounds communist.
Hermie, that's not an answer.
I sure hope a fruit popsicle counts as a vegetable. Food pyramid fail.
That's twice you've mentioned the National Restaurant Association, Herm. I think you want people to confuse it with the NRA.
A healthcare savings account would be a fucking disaster, Mittenshit. The same amount for a healthy person as for, say, one of the 9/11 repsonders your party routinely fucks over? The same amount for a man as for a woman who gives birth four times? Solid plan, Mitt. Really. Solid as poop.
No, you ass, you didn't raise taxes, you just earned yourself the name "Fee-Fee" and slashed the education budget and teacher benefits. So now we're dumb, healthy, and have to pay five bucks to go through a toll.
It's not taking your own risk if you're from a bad school system that Mitt fucked over, had a baby because Rick Perry won't teach you safe sex, and can only get a job at Godfather Pizza that pays shit because you're busy raising your kid - it's called poverty.
I have to wonder how much her health insurance paid for that Botox. Bachmann - do you have a face under there?
Where you runnin' off to, Michele? To reread "Constitution for Idiots"? Or is it for more Botox?
Okay, so, it's a commercial, and I just give the fuck up. It's pissing me off too much, and I'm sure somewhere inside me, my cortisol levels are like, "YEAAAAAAH. ANGER. STRESS. LET'S GO WILD," and I'd love to not have hives again tonight. Or, at least, more hives (hi, yeah, I have chronic ideopathic hives that are most likely caused by stress and have no "cure" except not being stressed and taking fucktons of drugs. It's a fun time.) So I think I'm just going to shut this off before the itching begins and/or I throw something through the television. My Diet Crush and I are going to rock out to some Sims and a bit of writing, then maybe consider finishing my 9/11 blog entry, or possibly prep for the FSOT (foreign service officer test). I should probably check my work email, but that will give me hives, so no, thank you. Maybe a hot shower, instead.
Ack. Republicans.
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